Write a one-page plan describing what changes you will make before you submit the final draft. Group my feedback in two ways: higher order concerns and lower order concerns. Be specific in your changes. For example, if you need to revise your thesis statement, don’t just say “I’m going to rewrite my thesis.” Tell me exactly how you are changing your thesis and how it will influence the rest of your paper. This will help you make the revisions and shows me how you are engaging with your own writing. The plan must be in Times New Roman, 12 pt font, double- spaced, in APA format, and one page.
Your intro is a bit confusing, however, as it sets up the paper to discuss specific parenting styles, but instead the paper discusses the effects of parenting within certain situations (elementary school, cyberbullying, and cultural influences). So while the body of the paper works well, I recommend you revising your intro to match with the points of the rest of the paper.